Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hakuoki Shinsengumi Kitan 2-3

:: posted by Lu

While I love my fair share of romance and pretty men, I ABHOR (read that as "to regard with horror and loathing; to detest") harem, both the normal and the reverse kind. I recognize this as a legitimate fantasy that many a young woman have but I, of the abnormal tastes, just find all of it revolting. So I'm sorry, Jute, but there is no way in hell I am going to sit through nine more episodes of this shit.

In the mean time, work.

So, a little she-douche named Chizuru ends up deep in the lair of the fearsome Wolves of Mibu, only they aren't fearsome at all but just a bunch of slacker dudes with hair and swords. Chizuru is supposed to find her father see, who's gone missing a while back, and there are monsters (also a while back) but let's not talk about that now because there's politics and history and some more of that shit, and goddamn, when did Okita become such a brat? Yes, I do know my Japanese history and like Jute, I love the glamfest that is the Shinsengumi, but this show is crap. I can't stand this.

Hijikata's an idiot! Who knew? Saitou is way too cool for this shit. Why is he even here? Oh wait, are we trying to be accurate? He gives the she-douche some pointers on her sword work and then anoints her ass as good enough to join them on patrol. But because in addition to being a she-douche, she's also an ass, she of course gets into trouble, prompting Okita to save her. Shit happens and Hijikata's having an aneurysm.

Meanwhile, more politics! The Choshuu clan are secretly plotting against the Shogunate, which, not so secret by the way since the Shinsengumi find out about it in like five seconds. They call some of their friends from the Aizu Clan for help but the arrogant pricks are late so Kondou gets all constipated. Sano and that other brat are all for it but wait, the she-douche has to be USEFUL. And while all of us wait for this to happen, Kondou hilariously announces their surprise attack, which like, 'great idea, Commander,' as people die one by one. Then, like seventeen fucking hours later, she-douche makes it to Hijikata's gay party and brings them back to the mayhem that has become Ikedaya.

Later, Aizu arrives and they are walking penises. Hijikata tells them to jack off while she-douche looks ready to glomp him. She contains herself and instead goes inside because hell, in this episode, she hasn't been rescued by any one of these pretty men at all. Saitou is kind of forced into the loathsome deed for simply being there and resists rolling his eyes long enough to tell her some shit I forgot. Oh no, Okita's getting his ass whipped by a pimp with blond hair. She-douche comes in and makes things worse. Okita coughs blood, which eww, but the pimp has other plans and leaves.

Then all of a sudden it's over and some Shinsengumi dude is dead, which we don't care, Okita's down, that other brat is also down, Hijikata's all 'whattaya want from me?' It isn't really over though. It's just the beginning.

And that's that. Well maybe some more of the same shit happened but I don't care. Not blogging this.