Monday, December 13, 2010

State of the Blog

Dear readers, followers and random visitors,

Hello. I'm Lu, the blogger of this blog. You might not know this but I'm actually kinda new to this blog. A while back, I received an intergalactic transmission from this blog's owner, Jute, asking me to take over as she is busy negotiating peace with the alien pirates of Ourrgadok. Until now, I haven't heard from her again so I believe it's safe to say that she's been eaten alive and sucked into the nostril of the alien pirate king who has a taste for human flesh. Yeah, morbid, but that is the sad untruth, and I don't want Jute's legacy -- i.e. this blog -- to disappear into Internet oblivion and rest in eternal peace in a place called "Where Blogs No One Knew Existed Go To After Their Bloggers Get Addicted To WoW", which is located right next to a sign that says "IPad Sux, Samsung Galaxy Tab Rulez." Believe me when I say that it has always been my intention to forge ahead with this blog into places where mankind never was, provided the place isn't filthy and has running water at least, but alas, sad news. The alien pirates of Ourrgadok have called for more envoys to send to their planet in order to negotiate peace with their alien pirate king, who is called King Tutu, by the way. Knowing what I know about King Tutu's penchant for sucking people into his nostril (it's singular as he has indeed only one nostril), I have since been in hiding from the government people who come to take me away. My landlord has already been sent packing on a zinc spaceship to the training facility in Moon. That was months ago. No one has heard from him since. His wife thinks he's having an affair with a lunar probe, which is silly, but you know, wives. I cannot attest to the cavernous routes their thoughts take. Anyhoo, my destiny, I don't exactly know, but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with getting intimately acquainted with an alien pirate's digestive system. Thus, I have gone underground, never staying in one place for too long, limiting my Internet use to dropping red herrings on my Facebook status, playing Plants vs. Zombies and imagining the day when I can get out into the light and play Starcraft II and Resident Evil 5.... If I were you and I were you reading this message, I'd be afraid for my life, too, and go into hiding, too. Be warned, readers, followers and random visitors. Be very warned. THE WALLS HAVE EYES!